Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I hate having a black eye...

The most beautiful Candy Apple Red Volkswagon Bug is crusin around my neighborhood, gonna try to snap some pics of it. Anyway kiddies, good morning, top o' the mornin' Mahala, whatever. Y'all(as they say down here) are on your own with
this one...
Oh, and it's kinda like Lighting Loops at Great Adventure, first forward, then backwards...........................................................have a nice trip!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Wow, as I was posting the last post, 6 representatives of the Montgomery County Sheriff's Department just rolled up on one of my neighbors. The giggle factor here is that 3 of them were wearing heavy hands. Hmmmm, the plot sickens...
Lysergic acid diethylamide was discovered in 1938 and is manufactured from lysergic acid, which is found in ergot, a fungus that grows on rye and other grains. It is a wonderful substance that, without it's discovery, would have left the planet lacking this little ditty...


I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.
YouMister city policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like lucy in the sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, i'm crying.
I'm crying, i'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snide...
I'm crying...

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the eiffel tower.
Elementary penguin singing hari krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe...
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.

YouTube VIDEO-

A Day in the Life of Matt

Here we go...
As some of you may or may not know, I moved from the Jersey Shore to the New River Valley, in southwest Virginia. I miss the ocean. I miss the beach, I miss my olympic-sized pool. I am sure there is something Freudian there, but I digress... Anyhoo, about a month ago, I went on vacation upon the shores of Jersey. Some refer to it as the Irish Riviera. Anyway, I stayed there for a while, in a few different towns, wife and kids free, completely unencumbered. I stayed on the beach the entire time. Very, and I mean, VERY nice. Watched the sun rise every morning, then went surfing. There is something so spiritually refreshing about sitting on the beach with some old friends, watching the lobster boats with their huge outriggers out, haul ass outta Point Pleasant, waiting on the sunrise, catching a short set, and then, planning your day. The perfect day. If you don't know, then I can't explain it to you... I digress again.
So I am on like the upteenth day in a row of perfect weather, full on bliss. It's Tuesday, the day after Columbus Day, like I give a shit...
I come back in after a couple of mediocre sets, but I am not bummed, because it's the MIDDLE OF OCTOBER, and I am surfing without a wetsuit, because the heavens and earth aligned, and at 7:00a.m. the air temp is like 72 degrees, the water is like 68 degrees, and there is an eastern breeze. Stoked. Ready for whatever the day may bring. BTW, I am at the MOST LOCAL, as in locals only(translation, need to be on point, i.e. need to be paying attention, follow surfers rules of etiquette, but just in case, carrying a stainless steel weapon) of spots on the entire Jersey shore, the Manasquan inlet. I come back to my spot, and much to my chagrin, I see that my brand new, $70 pair of DC SHOES are gone. Totally bummed. Call my buddies up, they are on their way to PA. There I am, no ride, no shoes, damn. I walk almost a mile, barefoot, into the town of Manasquan, trying to buy shoes. The surf shop,Inlet-Outlet is out of everything but kiddie sizes in flip-flops, because it's so late in the season. Three convenience stores, a cobbler, and a five and dime later, I was still shoe-less joe, shit out of luck. There is a consignment shop there, that is, apparently, closed on Tuesdays. I rolled up on it, again, barefoot...
The woman doing inventory started to tell me to get lost, then realized who I was, invited me in, sold me a $50 pair of loafers for $4, and threw in a shirt, hooked me up. We spoke briefly of my mother. After that, I headed up to NYC, new shoes on foot, and continued my adventure. Later that day, outside of a pub in the city, an extremely "local" joint, 5 guys tried to strong-arm me outta a leather jacket, but that's another story....

Monday, October 29, 2007

How to keep an imbecile in suspense...

Dear god, It's been a very long time, 384 days, give or take. My life is as creazy as it's ever been, that is part of the story. I will publish a whole mess of posts in the days to follow, so everyone be patient, which, anyone who has had even a peripheral relationship with me has plenty of practice with... Be right back!